This story was read on one of my favorite podcasts, "grammar girl quick and dirty tips for better writing". I see it as a sort of ode to my favorite piece of punctuation. Enjoy.
‘Hello … my name is Eileen … and I’m …
an ellipsis abuser …’
By Eileen Burmeister
September 24, 2009
Going cold turkey on National Punctuation Day
I know it’s wrong to use it in such a way, and I know that’s it’s become a crutch, but I must admit that I’ve been having an illegitimate love affair with the ellipsis for years now. Surely, I thought, I could find a support group among the many writers who have been similarly led down this particular primrose path of pauses, but alas … none existed. Not to be dissuaded, I set out and started my own support group called “Ellipsis …Anonymous.” I invited everyone to my house at 2000 W. Maple … a place, I must confess, I bought for the address alone … and I served M&Ms in batches of three. However the people who showed up tended to trail off midway through their stories or stopped abruptly before staring off into space, which seemed appropriate but really stymied the healing process. It was … daunting. I found myself wandering the streets that night, talking to myself, binging on one story after another without end, drinking deep from the nectar of incomplete thoughts until … I hit rock bottom. It had gotten to the point where I couldn’t pause for breath in my prose without automatically hitting dot-dot-dot. I was ravenous … a wild animal on the prowl for a pregnant pause, a thoughtful moment or a half-baked idea so I could swoop in and get my fix. I was putting ellipses where commas would suffice … ellipses when em dashes would do the trick … ellipses when a yada-yada-yada would convey the same idea. It was all too much, and I collapsed under the pressure.
I woke up the next morning in the gutter outside a Barnes & Noble, gripping my beat-up copy of “Love is…” poems and staring in the face of one harsh reality … I needed help. I got up out of the gutter, flipped open my laptop and started writing … hair of the dog and all that jazz. What I was after was a mantra to get me through the tough spots, those times where it’s just so … tempting to use that one, single punctuation, albeit incorrectly. I needed a higher power to see me through, and … amazingly … this little beauty fell out of the sky like a penny … or coin … from Heaven:
“God grant me the serenity To accept the proper uses for the ellipsis;
Courage to use it when I should and deny myself when I shouldn’t;
And the wisdom to know the difference.”
Doesn’t it seem appropriate, then, that today, National Punctuation Day, would be my quit day? I have decided to go cold turkey. No more ellipses for me. I’m clean and sober starting now of course that means I can’t use any punctuation for fear that the pause in and of itself would throw me headlong into a full blown relapse from which I might never recover until I could once again use my beloved and reliable ellipsis just saying the word makes this all the more harder until I simply … break … down. They say that admitting the problem is half the battle, and I’m counting on that to be true. But right now, I have an inexplicable desire to learn Morse code and eat M&Ms. And besides, as my friend Scarlett once said … “Tomorrow is another day.”
Eileen Burmeister is a corporate communicator in the Pacific Northwest.
Sunday, November 8, 2009
Wednesday, November 4, 2009
The Survival of the Jains
*Jainism: This religious tradition springs out of India, and, I find, shares much common language with Hinduism, Islam, and Buddhism, probably due to a "marketplace effect"-- people of different traditions mixing in the same geographical area. Hinduism in particular shares many commonalities with Jainism, as it seems Jainism formed out of "hinduism" (probably not the same hinduism we know today because this all took place BCE...) so you see some shared characters in the mythology of both traditions. Some archeological evidence (statues of tirthankaras) traces back to the Indus valley region-- a hotbed of eastern religious activity-- around 2700-1700 BCE. This suggests that the basic tenants of Jainism may posses origins that are quite ancient. Mythologically speaking, its founding fathers are a long line of tirthankaras (literally "ford-crossers", in that they have crossed the "stream of existence" and are completed souls). This mythology of leading, liberated Guru's ends with the 24th tirthankara, born Vardhamana and renamed Mahavir (Great Man). While the sect existed before him, Mahavir's real-time existence was probably sometime in 500 BCE, marking a more tangible beginning for Jainism. From Mahavir's death, jinas (self-conquerors) or Jains look up to ganadharas ("supporters of the community") as spiritual guides-- guru's with a lowercase g. This following has been meager at times and then at times powerful and plentiful in India, and has endured some major splits over differences of opinion regarding issues like the authority of certain scriptures, gender rights, artistic images, and dress... (it was the stark naked guys, the "sky clad" Digambaras versus the white-clothed Svetambaras in 80 CE). For our more general purposes, whether Digambara or Svetambara, the basic teachings remain the same.
Basically, the substance of Karma must be burned off. In Jainism, Karma refers to a metaphysical substance that adhere's to holes in the soul, hindering one's ability to become a completed soul. To burn off this karma, self-discipline and austerity must be vigorously employed. No karma is "good" karma, and no karma means escaping the cycle of birth and rebirth. "All creation groans together in torment"-- a quote from an ancient text-- may exemplify a general worldview of the reality of existence. All creation refers to all souls. All souls includes everything-- all animate and inanimate matter. Souls, taking the shape of the bodies they inhabit, are characterized by consciousness. Many souls may seem unconscious but this is only what meets the eye. The soul-goal is "akasa"-- pure consciousness seperate from a form of embodiment. There is a vast tradition of listing or catagorizing in Jainism... you have the 24 tirthankaras, a numerical list of ganadharas, a catagorization of the "levels" of consciousness into which one can be born (think rocks, flames, wind, and mud on the lowest level, and human beings on the highest level) and many other well-labeled groupings. There are five vratas, or vows that shape the life and times of Jains.
Ahisma-- do not kill. anything. do not destroy life (even through carelessness). non-violence.
Satya-- speak only of goodness, pleasantries, truth.
Asteya-- take nothing that is not freely given
Brahmacrya-- celibacy
Aparigraha-- own no worldly possessions.
These vows manifest themselves literally in the lives of Jains, particularly the monks (sadhus). Monks don't eat after dark to avoid accidentally munching on a bug. This is why they don't farm (tilling fields could harm insects or innocent grasses, among other things). There is a belief that to put out a fire is a "sin" itself, as it kills the soul of the flame. All lives (and therefore souls) are in a stage of transmigration towards liberation. Collecting Karma slows this cycle with debt. This concentration and regulation is to avoid collecting Karma, which would need to then be burned off.
All of this study/talk about Jainism has lead to a question... or maybe it's just a point, observation, or guess.
I wonder if Jainism will soon become extinct. Is Jainism unfit? Some researchers believe religion is "selected for" by a cultural evolution whereby the values of a culture promote sustainable life and reproduction. The selfish gene theory suggest that humans, on an unconscious level, make decisions to influence the perpetuation of their own DNA. Could this also be applied to culture? That to pass on the "DNA" of our beliefs to our offspring is an intrinsic motive? There are about 6 million Jains today around the world. It is a rather pessimistic worldview to hold... that you are joined with all of creation in torment. Jainism's most important tenant remains "Ahisma" or non-violence, (whereby the greatest sin is to take a life, of a flame or of a fellow human). Perhaps this may promote a healthy environment that ensures survival, but it seems it can be extremely self depricating as well. Detachment is the ideal state of man. Therefore, to experience neither positive nor negative emotions is the goal. Attachments (even relationships) are left behind and therefore become futile in the face of reaching enlightenment. Passions are to be avoided. How then, may I frankly ask, do Jains have enough sex to reproduce and rear families? Celibacy, one could argue, is evolutionary suicide. This theology suggests stagnation. Without offspring to carry on the genes (or culturally speaking, the tradition) of the group, it's vitality rests on conversion. Conversion seems unlikely due to what I might call the "circumcision effect"... taking on the scrupulous rules and regulations to avoid the drowning weight of karmic debt in a cyclical life of torment isn't exactly going to appeal to just anyone. The fervent ritual aspect involved in ahisma, paired with the highly complex metaphysical philosophy (barely discussed here) lacks accessibility. Is this why Jainism has so few followers? Will they become fewer?
*note: much of this entry I used as a way to practice reading comprehension (Ten Religions of the East: The Jains by Edward Rice) through writing. However, I would enjoy delving further into the subject of Jainism to gain understanding of its teachings and people, as well as to investigate its evolutionary "fitness" (from a more socially scientific and detached viewpoint). Discussion, anyone?
Basically, the substance of Karma must be burned off. In Jainism, Karma refers to a metaphysical substance that adhere's to holes in the soul, hindering one's ability to become a completed soul. To burn off this karma, self-discipline and austerity must be vigorously employed. No karma is "good" karma, and no karma means escaping the cycle of birth and rebirth. "All creation groans together in torment"-- a quote from an ancient text-- may exemplify a general worldview of the reality of existence. All creation refers to all souls. All souls includes everything-- all animate and inanimate matter. Souls, taking the shape of the bodies they inhabit, are characterized by consciousness. Many souls may seem unconscious but this is only what meets the eye. The soul-goal is "akasa"-- pure consciousness seperate from a form of embodiment. There is a vast tradition of listing or catagorizing in Jainism... you have the 24 tirthankaras, a numerical list of ganadharas, a catagorization of the "levels" of consciousness into which one can be born (think rocks, flames, wind, and mud on the lowest level, and human beings on the highest level) and many other well-labeled groupings. There are five vratas, or vows that shape the life and times of Jains.
Ahisma-- do not kill. anything. do not destroy life (even through carelessness). non-violence.
Satya-- speak only of goodness, pleasantries, truth.
Asteya-- take nothing that is not freely given
Brahmacrya-- celibacy
Aparigraha-- own no worldly possessions.
These vows manifest themselves literally in the lives of Jains, particularly the monks (sadhus). Monks don't eat after dark to avoid accidentally munching on a bug. This is why they don't farm (tilling fields could harm insects or innocent grasses, among other things). There is a belief that to put out a fire is a "sin" itself, as it kills the soul of the flame. All lives (and therefore souls) are in a stage of transmigration towards liberation. Collecting Karma slows this cycle with debt. This concentration and regulation is to avoid collecting Karma, which would need to then be burned off.
All of this study/talk about Jainism has lead to a question... or maybe it's just a point, observation, or guess.
I wonder if Jainism will soon become extinct. Is Jainism unfit? Some researchers believe religion is "selected for" by a cultural evolution whereby the values of a culture promote sustainable life and reproduction. The selfish gene theory suggest that humans, on an unconscious level, make decisions to influence the perpetuation of their own DNA. Could this also be applied to culture? That to pass on the "DNA" of our beliefs to our offspring is an intrinsic motive? There are about 6 million Jains today around the world. It is a rather pessimistic worldview to hold... that you are joined with all of creation in torment. Jainism's most important tenant remains "Ahisma" or non-violence, (whereby the greatest sin is to take a life, of a flame or of a fellow human). Perhaps this may promote a healthy environment that ensures survival, but it seems it can be extremely self depricating as well. Detachment is the ideal state of man. Therefore, to experience neither positive nor negative emotions is the goal. Attachments (even relationships) are left behind and therefore become futile in the face of reaching enlightenment. Passions are to be avoided. How then, may I frankly ask, do Jains have enough sex to reproduce and rear families? Celibacy, one could argue, is evolutionary suicide. This theology suggests stagnation. Without offspring to carry on the genes (or culturally speaking, the tradition) of the group, it's vitality rests on conversion. Conversion seems unlikely due to what I might call the "circumcision effect"... taking on the scrupulous rules and regulations to avoid the drowning weight of karmic debt in a cyclical life of torment isn't exactly going to appeal to just anyone. The fervent ritual aspect involved in ahisma, paired with the highly complex metaphysical philosophy (barely discussed here) lacks accessibility. Is this why Jainism has so few followers? Will they become fewer?
*note: much of this entry I used as a way to practice reading comprehension (Ten Religions of the East: The Jains by Edward Rice) through writing. However, I would enjoy delving further into the subject of Jainism to gain understanding of its teachings and people, as well as to investigate its evolutionary "fitness" (from a more socially scientific and detached viewpoint). Discussion, anyone?
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